Last week I talked about building Character Qualities into the lives of our children.
I wanted to give you an update on how this last week went. Since Christmas can be a hiccup for the best made plans, I am happy to report the week went well.
I was able to praise both younger boys for their Attentiveness, and avoid disciplining them for Unconcern
It is defined as : Showing the worth of a person by giving undivided attention to his words and emotions.
They were praised for their attentiveness when they came when they were called…. the FIRST time… and on Christmas day when they were busy in the middle of fun… is certainly praiseworthy.
So you don’t think I suddenly have perfect children or something… there was plenty of Unconcern to be addressed as well. Usually because someone wanted to play something and not share…. it’s ok we are a work in progress. When this happened, we would pull the boys aside. Ask them how they could choose to show kindness to the other person. We would give them time to answer and then discuss their response. After discussion we asked them if they needed to ask forgiveness from the person they were unkind to. Usually they quickly said yes, and went to do it. When they delay or refuse to ask for forgiveness, there is more discussion or sometimes alone time to think about the problem at hand and their response to it. Unconcern shows up in a multitude of Selfish behaviors, so this one crept up lots with our new presents
With Obedience being defined as : Freedom to be creative under the protection of divinely appointed authority.
Here we just had many reminders. There was little discipline this week for lack of obedience. They actually weren’t too willful. Many years ago, when Evan and Tayler were still in school they had a speaker during chapel that taught the phrase, ” When you Obey, you have a great day!” to all the children. This phrase has been a powerful reminder tool for all of our children. We use this phrase when they don’t come the first time they are called, or if they dawdle completing a task they were asked to do.
Lastly we come to Self Control. Is it really even possible to attain with boys? There are days I feel it is impossible!
My husband and I attack this issue from slightly different perspectives. I am sure it has something to do with me being from an all girl family and he being a little boy once. :) I think that it is perfectly fine to ask a young boy of 8 to sit still for a short amount of time. Big Daddy, he thinks boys will be boys… and they need to run.
The place we do meet on the issue is at church. Neither of us want the boys running wild through out the building unattended and needing to be chased down so we can get in the car to go home. Ah, common ground! SO…. our target spot to work on Self Control is at church. The sticking point is Hunter’s tendency to bolt out of the car and run around in the building, to leave the pew and be lost in a nano second and have to be hunted down in the hallways, to leave his chimes practice and completely turn into a screaming banchee running around and inciting other children to do the same. Yeah…. sigh………
I will have to get back with you on how this one is going…. at the moment…. and for awhile… it hasn’t gone so good.
So that’s where we are after week one….
How is it going at your house?