gosh darn it! why doesn’t grief get any easier?
It sneaks up on you like a thief and leaves you drained, ravaged and raw. Just when you think you have cried enough tears, a memory, a smile…. a gesture will set them flowing afresh.
I remember the numbness when Dad died. I made it through that memorial service just fine. No tears. I was strong. I felt I had to be. I shook hands with people I remembered from my childhood, hugged hundreds of people told them thank you for coming. I am the oldest, I had to hold it together.
And here, two years later I sit a teary eyed mess. I have cried so much I think my eyelids are chapped from all the tissue.
Today I sat in church listening to a congregation sing “Praise Him, Praise Him” the room was filled with many people I knew and those whom I had never seen. We all had one thing in common, we loved Jesus and were there to celebrate one of His children. I could only listen to the words of the song and attempt to read the words through tear blurred eyes, for no song would croak from my mouth. The sound of all those people praising God…..I …. I wept.
I know the answer to the question I asked up there. It is because we live in a fallen world. I also know that even if memories bring tears, that the tears won’t last forever. I know that my grief isn’t like those with no hope. I have hope, assurance even, of eternal life.
I think my son said it best, when he corrected the bulletin at the service today……..
Oh how glad for that I am….. Oh how I wish that assurance for you as well, that death would just be the beginning of forever with Jesus, face to face.