Day 8

The waking report:  I rolled over this morning to see the biggest snowflakes ever coming down out of the sky. They were so pretty. About the same time…. I rolled over quickly the other way and I felt like a ripped open a muscle in my abdomen (on the opposite side of the one I tried to kill last week)  As the morning has worn on, it feels better, and I think that I can work out un-affected, I will just need to go slow.

The eating report: Since my new found vigilance about what goes into my mouth…. my husband has been deeply saddened that he can not buy me a fancy coffee whenever he wishes.  Showering me with random coffee-ness is his way of saying I love you….  He has felt like I pulled the rug out from under him and one of his little ways of loving me has been sabotaged.  Yesterday I told him that he can still buy me a coffee, it just needs to have less calories than the whole milk, full sugar versions I deeply love.  I just want the calories I eat to be meaningful and not just sucked through a straw.  So today, I sit here typing to you and happily sipping a non-fat peppermint mocha….  Hubby is happy, I am happy.

Workout DVD:  Shoulders and Back + Ab RipperX

  1. WOW! The difference a week makes in doing this work out, is huge. I am able to keep up much better.
  2. I still can’t do a push up without being on my knees.  It isn’t my arms that are rebelling, it is my core… those pesky non-existent ab muscles. So I just modify the push up and put my knees as far back as I can… and pump away.
  3. I always end this workout walking around feeling like my arms are all puffed out like a body builder or something.
  4. I felt the variance in push ups today very much.  Placement of your hands works a whole new set of muscles. Ouch.
  5. I added some weights today to some of the exercises, and used the bands in place of the chin ups.  That seemed to help in getting a better “burn”
  6. Ab Ripper…. is designed by evil, mean, horrid people. Somehow, even though I hate them, I still do the work out.
  7. I can feel every single muscle from my belly button down to my pelvis.  Every. Single. One.  It is nice to know they are there, however small they are right now.  I keep envisioning them getting stronger.

Goal:  Before this program is over.  I WILL do a full sit up.  even if it is just one, and I keel over immediately after….  But I will do one sit up, and one chin up.

The changes are subtle, but I do see some.  Even if the scale is evil…. the pictures show change.



Day 7

She rests.

Glorious, amazing, wonderful rest.

I worked hard, I earned this day.  I will enjoy this day of rest to the fullest.

See you tomorrow when I am back to sweating like a fool.



Day 6

the waking report:  very tired today.  not excited about working out … at. all.   Not too sore…  just not enthused with the thought of exercising today

the eating report:  I am sure I have eaten more this week than I did all holiday season, the difference is that it has been healthy food and not chocolate.  I miss chocolate. Chocolate protein powder is not the same.

Workout DVD: Kenpo X

  1.  This is the hit, kick, punch video.
  2. I am completely uncoordinated.
  3. I hit like a girl.
  4. This was the “fastest” work out I did.  It is still an hour long….it just goes really quickly.
  5. I can not kick to the side or to the back.  I look like a flailing idiot.

Goal:  Do week two. one day at a time.


Day 5

the waking report:  Honestly, today I felt really great when I woke up.  No single muscle group was groaning louder than any other, the Yoga must have helped stretch everything out.

the eating report: I really should title today’s entry, confessions of a grazer.  That is how I would eat.  Graze from 4-10 everyday.  This is not good for a person’s metabolism.  It is great for building a comfy little gut….. but bad for the fuel furnace.  This week I have focused on eating three meals a day with a few snacks in the middle. I am patiently waiting for my furnace to kick in and dissolve the padding I have all around my middle.

Workout DVD: Legs and Back + Ab RipperX

  1. my legs are stronger than I give them credit for.
  2. I kept up with the reps on nearly every single exercise on this DVD.
  3. There is no way I can sit against a wall at a 90° angle and hold that for a minute.  45° kicked my butt.
  4. I think I pulled a muscle in my belly.  Who am I kidding… what muscles?  I can’t even do a sit up, but the there was a tiny little muscle on my left side that was trying to grow….. I think I killed it.
  5. I did much better on the Ab Ripper exercises than I did earlier in the week.  10 reps at least on every one, in whatever modified way I could do it… because I already confessed that I can’t do a sit up.
  6. The twisty-hold your legs up- rapidly move your hand from side to side-sit down thing……   is  murder.  50 reps….  I did them. all of them. even if I didn’t touch the floor all the way.
  7. I am beginning to get the whole ” do your best” thing.  Work on form.  Do what you can.  Work harder on the parts you can do.

Goal: live to the end of the week.  Tomorrow is day 6. Then I rest collapse.



…Fat girls don’t wear cream

This very statement came out of my mouth the moment I learned that the colors for my sister’s wedding went from purple to cream.


Now, I realize three things…. 1.  all her friends and every other bridesmaid…. are skinny pencil people…..  2.  I am not a skinny pencil person. 3.  Any person that is actually less that a size zero in wedding dresses, is not expected to think rationally about how cream dresses look in a size 18.

I also realize that this is NOT my wedding, and I do not have any sort of vote at all in the color scheme that she chose.  That being said, I am not the proud (sort of) owner of a flow-ey cream dress.

Now do you see why I had to start this lovely new work out regime?  I need to look like the best possible- most fit- size 18- cream dress wearer who will be standing next to all of these little pencil people.

It is all about the motivation baby…. all about the motivation.



Day 4

the waking report:  Not too bad today.  After the arm and shoulder workout from yesterday I expected more pain in the bye-bye arm region…  and it was surprisingly manageable.  Legs are still rebellious… the muscle in my thigh was pretty tight, and I did need to stretch my calves before I got out of bed…

the eating report:  Fewer calories eaten yesterday.  I somehow missed breakfast, ate lunch and a snack and then nearly tanked before dinner….  after dinner and when we were home from church I had some cottage cheese for a snack and popcorn (no butter, I was good).  Today though, I did eat breakfast and waited a couple of hours before I worked out.  As soon as the work out was over, I was in full low blood sugar mode…. which for me means I feel very antsy and start to get the shakes.  A quick potato in the microwave helped it from getting any worse.  I really need to get the hang of eating at the proper times to give my body the fuel to work through these workouts.

Workout DVD:  Yoga X

  1.  Yoga is not for wimps.
  2. Belly fat and side rolls get in the way of many yoga moves.
  3. The first half of the DVD kicked my tail. Move after move…  to say that you sweat, would be an understatement
  4. I was encouraged that I was more flexible than I thought on certain moves.
  5. I only fell over twice, not bad if you ask me.
  6. The stretches at the end were glorious…. they felt SOOOO good.

Goal:  Better balance and core strength so I can hold some of those peculiar positions. Quit looking at the scale.  It has gone UP… and I am feeling discouraged.  My rational side knows my metabolism needs to catch up… and the pounds will fall off, my wistful side wanted to see a loss of 5 lbs…



Day 3

the waking report:  I woke myself up in the wee hours of the morning by rolling over…..  my abdomen was rebelling.  Getting in and out of a chair today (pre-workout) is going to be an adventure.  I am sure I look like a 90 year old woman pulling myself up.  Oh, and sitting down to use the facilities……  not fun.

The eating report: Phase 1: Fat Shredder:  Yesterday was the first full day that I ate the portions recommended by the plan.  I am supposed to have a 3000 calorie intake.  I must tell you, that I can NOT eat that much food in a day.  Well, I probably could if it was an amazing plate full of Fettuccine, and gooey garlic butter laden bread….and a dessert of Tiramisu….  now that we are both drooling, I will get back to my point.  I can’t eat a full 3000 calories the right way.  9 proteins, 4 dairy, 2 fruits, 4 veggies, 1 fat, 1 carb, 4 snacks, a protein bar and a drink….  That is a huge amount of food.   So, I just ate until I was full, drank tons of water, and added a healthy carb to my lunch and dinner….  some brown rice did the trick and kept me from craving sweets all night or feeling run down and too tired. 

**on a side note** I ate a egg white omlette for the first time ever….  not too bad…

Workout DVD: Shoulders and Arms+Ab RipperX

  1. Right now, my arms don’t feel too bad.  Tomorrow will be a different story, I am sure, but for now they feel loose and better than when I woke up.
  2. I have more strength in my biceps (those front upper arm muscles) than I thought….Must be all the babies I lift.  Some exercises I needed more weight to get any burn.
  3. Tomorrow, my triceps, those muscles hidden currently by a wildly waving flap of fat, will be in agony.
  4. It is hilarious to see your 9 year old working out next to you in his jeans and suspenders.
  5. My legs are on fire…. it is hard to sit down and get out of a chair.
  6. Trying to do the Ab-RipperX….. well lets just say that I looked something like a fish… flopping wildly upon the dock after having been so skillfully fished out of the water.  I am sure it was comical to see
  7. I tried to do every Ripper exercise.  I can not get my butt or my back off the floor.  That will be a goal.
  8. Who thinks of exercises like lifting your upper body off the floor using only your tricep?  Clearly it is someone with relatives who once worked in the Tower of London under Elizabeth I. Pure evil I tell you…. pure evil  

Goal:  Improve Ab and Core strength so I can do more that 10 reps on that DVD.


Day 2

The waking report: Shnikeeze. I had no idea there were so many muscles in my arms! Stiff, sore, but do-able.  If I had 4 kids with no drugs….  I can do this.

 Workout DVD: Plyometrics. (Squats/Jumps/Cardio)

  1. This workout DVD is the mother of all evilness.
  2. I had no idea there were that many ways to torture your thighs.
  3. I am extremely uncoordinated and nearly fell over a few times.
  4. On the exercises that I can’t seem to do….  I focus on doing a few correctly, and then just pretend to jump rope for the rest of the minute.
  5. I mentioned that this disk is evil, right?
  6. There are a few exercises that are easier to do, I will have to work harder on those ones next week.
  7. My 4 year old is a great cheerleader, even if he runs in front of me 75 times and nearly kills me 3 times.
  8. Doing these workouts makes me very hungry.

Goal:  Finish this week able to walk…..  



Day 1

My thoughts on day one of P90X…….

Workout DVD: Chest and Back

  1. I didn’t know there were that many ways to do push-ups.
  2. I am *way* out of shape.
  3. I won’t be able to pick up my coffee cup in the morning.
  4. There really are some muscles underneath my bye-bye arm and in my tummy I can feel them. a lot.
  5. If I am ever able to do a chin-up I might throw a party.
  6. If I am ever able to do a dive push-up thingy…. I will throw an even bigger party.
  7. I have had much more energy today than I thought I would. I thought a 1 hr work out would lay me flat out and really the opposite has been true, I have more energy today.
  8. This is going to be harder than I thought.

I will get fit. I can do this. One day at a time.

I went and bought 2- 5lb weights and a resistance band.

Tomorrow is going to suck.


The P90X experience

This day has been a long over due.

Over two years ago, I purchased a DVD workout system, and for two years the little white box has been mocking me from the end of the bed. It would call to me and say…. “aren’t I the biggest waste of $100? Did you really buy me for me to sit at the end of the bed and collect dust?” The box mocked the loudest each time I would stumble onto one of the infomercials for this system…. I would sit there, cozy and warm in my bed, watching people sweat on the TV, and see testimonial after testimonial of people who got ripped in 90 days…… and the box would be ever present, calling out to me, like the quiet thumping of the heart of the captain of the Flying Dutchman….. “use me, use me, use me” it would chant.

Sunday morning I flipped the TV on for Jeremiah and before I could change the channel to Sprout, there was Tony Horton…. in all his sweaty muscularity, calling me out…. daring me once again to use those DVD’s….

Well today, I resolved. I got out my camera, and took probably THE. MOST. HUMILIATING photo of myself. All 225 lbs of pure Michellin Mom captured in one simple click. Ugh…. It isn’t pretty. I post it here because I need the reminder. That is the reality of what I look like. No more mind tricks from the girl who used to be skinny….. trying to tell herself that she still is…… today is reality day…. I am fat, I love oreos and cheese….. and my eating whatever was on my plate and the crumbs from the kids plates…. has resulted in a very out of shape woman and things need to change.

Day 1 of P90X

…..and so the journey begins….

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