It is Wednesday, and I am supposed to be full of Wisdom again.
Today I will share with you bits of wisdom that I have learned the hard way. I have done something…and I usually have had some sort of embarrassing moment because of it….. whereby gaining the wisdom, to never do it again. Some of the things on the list, have happened to people that I have known, and I have graciously learned from their experience…..hopefully you will learn from mine.
1. When on your first date. Never order the Rice Pilaf, with your meal. In mid-sentence, a piece that was tucked back in your cheek, a piece so small you didn’t even know it was still in your mouth, will fly out of your mouth and land on someones plate.
2. ( This one isn’t mine. I was there. I saw it happen. I learned.) Never lean forward on a ski lift, in the attempt to see what is directly under you. You will fall out…. and on a ski lift…. out is DOWN!
3. Do not turn your head to see something that caught your eye, while you are on a winding canyon road. You will likely lose control of your vehicle…. and slam it into a hill.
4. Wear clean underwear. They really do cut clothes off of you after you have been in a car accident.
5. ( I learned this one after having kids ) If a child has stuck something up its nose. You can save yourself a panic attack, and a trip to the emergency room, if you gently close the unaffected nostril with your finger…. and blow into the child’s mouth ( as if doing CPR ) the air you blow in, will be forced out the open nostril…. and usually blow out the raisin, m&m, or Lego…. sometimes repeated breaths are necessary. If that doesn’t work…. keeping a good set of forecepts around the house, might be something to think about.
6. While making suction noises,( they sound like big zerberts you do on baby’s bellies ) with your back while you are in the bathtub…. is fun. You can get stuck. Real Stuck. So stuck that you have to have the kids go get dad…. so he can figure out how to UN-stick you…. so save yourself the embarrassment, and just don’t do it.